Vocab

Pamela Handerson

A term used to describe the hand with which a man uses to masterbate.

"I had sex last night with Pamela Handerson".

What do you think?

I had the best idea ever!! Create a web site that sells blow up toddler dolls. You can have one made so you can post pictures have various races, ages, and clothing schemes. You could even sell accessories like duct tape and rope. I know, I know your totally taken aback by this idea, right? Well, let me clue you in on the beautiful part of the whole thing. When the degenerate fucktards order one you and 25 of your biggest meanest ex-con friends can deliver it with all the really good ass beatings that this mentally challenged, soon to be converted, "I am willing to wear a dress and suck pole before I ever glance at a kid again", asshole deserves. You never even have to ask him if he's a perv because he sent you an e-mail telling you he is. Do you think there's a police officer or a District Attorney in the world that would want to prosecute you for rearranging this low-life piece of feces' face? I think that the public outcry for support would thwart any attempts to levy "justice" upon anyone that participated in such an event. Chris Hansen could host the televised event and we could call the show "To Slap A Pedophile". So, be forewarned you baby raping douche bags we're coming for you and when we do you're gonna need a new set of pumps!!

Sony, Pioneer,JVC, RCA, Toshiba........

Stereotypes are a major part of how people look at the world. Some can be ridiculous and hurtful like the one about how all white people smell like artichokes others can be closer to truth but no one race, sex, society, nation or any other category you can think of fits into a tidy little box. It was once believed that physically active women were hurting their chances at motherhood. The world is full of outlandish and stupid misconceptions that come from stupidity and fear of the unknown. Yes, most African Americans like fried chicken and watermelon but, honestly, who the fuck doesn't? The truth is African Americans were held back financially and educationally for a long time and chicken is cheap and watermelon is easy to grow. That's on par with saying homeless people like holding signs or gay men like hair in their mouth. The cold hard truth is that stereotypes come from a time when people were more afraid of other races and cultures than they are today. That's not to say that we are past racism and hate but for the most part I think that most of the educated world know that stereotypes are generalizations that cannot be labeled as truth. We all know someone who smells like an artichoke but we all know more that don't. Honestly, not all stereotypes are bad either; I guarantee you'll never hear an African American man say that they don't have the largest penis' and I bet they get laid more often because women of other races wonder and dream of finding out. It's plain and simple not all Catholic priests are pedophiles, not all rednecks enjoy incest, and not all Muslims are extremists that want Americans to die. All men who write satirical blogs are smart and deserve unprovoked oral sex but other than that stereotypes tend to lean towards racist or sexist misnomers. Let's just use stereotypes for what they are, a way to pick on ourselves and others and quit taking them so serious. I myself try to use them to make people laugh and take people for who they really are when I meet them. If you spend all your time worried about hate and discrimination you never get the time to stop and smell the artichokes.

Vocab

butter face

A term used to describe an ugly woman with a nice body.

" Man, she's totally hot! Well everything butter face"

Eraserface!!

Stupid is as stupid does?

The time to rejoice has finally come!! Sarah " I am too stupid to say 'Nuclear'"Palin has finally taken herself out of the public eye. Don't get me wrong the media will follow her around for a couple months yet but soon she will be but a bad dream in the hearts and minds of the American people. I do not pretend to speak for all of America on this one but I mean come on can we not all agree that John McCain sealed his presidential hopes in an air tight sarcophagus when he chose the borderline retard as his running mate? During the vice presidential debate last year they had a team of skilled and learned drool wipers to keep her chin from being too shiny. They had to run in during commercial breaks wipe, dry, and dab with powder in order to maintain a fresh and I graduated from college look. Unfortunately, they could hardly expect her to appear able to maintain coherent thought while she was speaking. I understand it isn't exactly easy to think, speak, and smile the whole while listening to a tape in her ear reminding her to breathe in and out at a consistent pace. Whether or not she resigned her post as the Governor of Alaska to escape some soon to be revealed scandal is less important than the fact that she DID in fact resign and will no longer be in the news as the voice of the republican party. I am sure Rush Limbaugh is spewing forth all kinds of fantasies about how she was forced to leave or maybe how this is some brilliant move on her part but let's face it he hasn't been the same since he kicked the dope. In my humble opinion Sarah "I like Jell-O" Palin was never the real problem. What was, you ask? The fuck-tards that still refuse to see that she was never the best, smartest, or even safest choice for Vice Presidential candidacy. McCain was trying to steal the female vote after Hillary lost the nod. Shame on him for thinking that women were really that stupid! Shame on you semi-literate cum dumpsters that really were. Makes me wonder? If the voting age was lowered to twelve years old would McCain have picked a Pokemon? We may never know.

Racist Cop or Racist Accusations?

Well well, here we are again with another case of a caucasian police officer being accused of being racist because he happened to be called to a possible burglary in which an African American man, (who just happened to be a Harvard professor), lived. Now, I was not present at the scene and I believe that the Police can be too easy to jump to conclusions and love to throw their proverbial weight around. I also think it is way too easy for someone to scream racism and get the heat deflected away from themselves. What happened really is probably closer to a pissing contest than either of the two men would ever admit. When and if you believe either of these two men's stories then you are giving in to your weak and feeble mind. How many times have you witnessed anything and been present to hear multiple people retelling the same incident and not been totally amazed at the variations of the tale being told? It is always contingent on what I like to call "subjective reality". Every single person sees the same exact thing and their brain turns it into what they discern to be the truth. Now, these perceptions can vary in fantasy and truth depending on the tellers specific relationship to the incident and their ability to weed through their own bullshit. While watching something unfold we are also processing our own thoughts and feelings and mixing those in with what we are seeing. All that said, who are we supposed to believe in this situation? The Officer claims the man refused to step outside and speak with him and became belligerent almost immediately. The Professor initially refused to show identification and eventually followed him outside screaming and calling him a racist. The Harvard professor claims he produced his drivers license immediately and that the Officer followed him into the house afterward at which time he became upset because he was still being questioned. You can probably guess as to what really happened; they were both assholes. The professor because he thinks he deserves to be treated special for being an accomplished black man in America, and honestly doesn't that make him the racist in this situation? The fact that he thinks because of race he deserves to be treated differently than all the rest of society. The police officer because he was picked on in school or his father beat his mother, we have all had to deal with these assholes who want nothing more than to be treated as if they are gifted and special people and not just some ego maniacal asshole who couldn't do anything else after he served in the military. Why else would you want to do a thankless job in which the salary is almost as miserable as the people you have to deal with day in and day out? So, I think the douche bag award goes to the media for turning this into more than it really was. Two assholes who think they deserve to be respected by the other and neither smart enough,(maybe the operative word here should be wise enough), to stop, take a deep breath, and regroup using language and a tone which would probably disarm the other. In closing, I guess all that can be said is when you have two assholes and mix in a douche bag the shit goes all over the place.